Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Breaking Point

This week Heidi Klum and Seal announced that they decided they were planning to end their marriage of seven years.  It may sound silly, but this made me incredibly sad, but also really angry.  I have always looked at them as inspiration... A couple that despite the Hollywood odds, could weather the rough patches and make their marriage work.  Their break-up certainly made me feel like a naive little girl again- wishing for fairy tales to come true.

The thing that bothers me the most is that they really think they fought for their marriage.  I read today that their marriage was "An amazing love affair with crazy highs and lows" and "It's actually been about six months that they've been working through some issues."  

Six months?  Are you kidding me?  Do they really think they gave their marriage a fighting chance after only six months?  Maybe there is more to the story, but if I had the chance, I would tell them how stupid, immature, self-involved, and vain they are.  It makes me sick to think they would give up on their marriage (one in which they renewed their vows every year on their anniversary) because they're been having problems for six months... I've been told to try medicines for longer than that before seeing the effects.  Hell, it takes longer to make a baby than the effort they gave their marriage!

More than that, are they so blinded by their self-involved famous-person natures that they can't even put their four children's feelings ahead of their own-- do they really think divorce is going to be easier for those kids in the long run?  I mean any couple with four kids should know that life is not going to be all candy and roses... hell, one kid is a challenge-- but four?  Even with nannies and maids and all the other help they can afford, four kids is still four kids.  Maybe they should agree to work on their marriage for 20 weeks per child that they have (half the time it takes to make the baby in the first place)... which is 80 weeks or just over 1.5 years.  Maybe then I'd agree with them and say they really worked on fixing the problems in their marriage.

And Seal, WTF, why would you go on all these talk shows and discuss your private business?  It's like you went public as a way of generating interest in your concert tour.  Is your fame really the most important thing in your life?  Take a page from Jessica Lange and Sam Shepard's book.  They were separated for two years before the media got wind of it.  If anyone famous really wanted to protect their children and their privacy, why would you feed the paparazzi media frenzy by making a big statement... now they certainly won't stop trying to catch your family at every possible moment.  Jessica and Sam have certainly proven it can be done with grace.

What also kills me is when things like thing come out, and people still stand on their pious soapbox say and gay marriage is ruining the "institution of marriage."  Really?  If you ask me, I'd say stupidity, lawyers, and celebrities are the guilty parties here.  How long was Kim Kardashian's marriage?  Not that I even know what that chick is famous for in the first place...  but I do know that she is both a celebrity and stupid, and her "marriage" lasted about 5 minutes.

Actually, thinking about all of this makes believe these "legal contracts" of marriage we make with each other should be harder to break.  You enter into a marriage contract, and apart from abuse and proven infidelity, you should be locked in for the long haul, so make a wise and thoughtful decision about who you enter the marriage contract with.  None of this, "We've grown apart crap."  Ask a couple married for 50+ years and they'll tell you they've grown apart and back together a million times during the course of their marriage.  It's so easy and commonplace to get divorced now, no one even seems to bat an eye at it.  I certainly take my marriage vows very seriously, but in Idaho, if I wanted a divorce, did you know I could have it in 20 days?  That is way too short a process if you ask me, and I've heard that its even shorter in other states.

If you want your marriage to work so bad, make it work.  Make time.  Listen to the other person.  Get therapy.  Do the work.  Forgive.  Yoda says, "There is do and do not... there is no try."  That's an amazing life philosophy... one that we should all live by.  As for Heidi and Seal, if they ever stumble upon this post while surfing the web, all I can say is, give your marriage the fighting chance it deserves and the chance you've vowed to give it... none of this "we tried" crap.


  1. I agree, and also... Major plus points for quoting Yoda.

  2. I had the EXACT same reaction when I read that headline... "months?" Come on!! They supposedly renew their vows every year and then forget them a couple months later, only to completely divorce later? Maybe they need a break/separation to cool down, but divorce seems a bit extreme. Maybe there is more to the story than they are telling about just "growing apart".

  3. My brother-in-law sent me this... I think its an interesting take on the institution of marriage: