Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Adopt A New Beginning

Last night, David and I took part in an information seminar at one of the local adoption agencies, A New Beginning, here in Boise.  WOW!  I'm almost at a loss for words... only, its me, so not really.

It is hard to put into words exactly how excited I am to be a mom, and I think David is going to be the most amazing father- so much so that there aren't enough words in the English language to describe it!  I love that adoption is on the table for us now, although, I'm not going to pretend that the element of the unknown also makes me a bit nervous.

I think I'd be more comfortable if a stork could just drop a healthy little baby boy or girl off on our doorstep in a basket and say to us, "This is your child," and we could be done with it. Fortunately for the children involved in that scenario, that's not how it happens, if it was there would be a lot children in homes that didn't deserve them.

The experience at the agency information seminar was definitely a good one, albeit somewhat foreign to me.  A New Beginning is a very thorough agency which David and I both liked.  They ask a lot of their potential parents, insisting they attend seminars, classes and support groups, before, during and after the adoption, which we think is a positive thing for everyone involved, especially the kids.

Surprisingly, although the idea of adopting is exciting to me, sitting there, I suddenly felt somewhat overwhelmed by the process of it.  I'm sure the programs the agency have in place would be helpful in alleviating those feelings.  But I was so sure of what we were doing going into the seminar, that I was not prepared to feel that way after the information session.

When the woman leading the seminar asked if anyone had questions I was, of course, the first person to speak up, and I kept going until David whispered to me to let other people have a chance to ask questions too (smile), but I ended up getting in a few additional questions before the end because questions just kept popping up and I could help myself (wink)!  What can I say... I wanted to make sure my questions got asked before they slipped my mind!

There are many different types of adoption, however, The Domestic Infant Adoption Program was really the only program that David and I were comfortable pursuing before we went into the session, and that was re-affirmed while we were there.  We figure, if we can't physically create the child ourselves, we'd at least want to be there from the first second we're allowed to bond and give the child all of our love.

Also, what the information session made me realize, at least after sleeping on it, was that I think if we can find a way to afford it, I'd prefer surrogacy over adoption for the simple element of control you have over the process.  God, I sound like a control freak!  But with such a huge decision in our lives, I feel like wanting some control isn't such a bad thing.

It's not because I would love an adopted child any less than a child we created, but because of all the variables involved in adoption that make the uncertainty almost overwhelming.  However, I also know that I can safely say that if I was given a baby tomorrow, any baby, I would love it as my own and be no less happy than if I gave birth to it myself.  

Such a quandary.  I think that I am going to have to do some serious soul searching and prayer before we continue on this journey.  All children are a gift.  I just want to make surely sure we are going in the right direction before we move ahead...  

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